Monday, April 9, 2012

Confessions of an (im)Perfect Mom...

...The Easter 2012 Edition

You're reading my blog? Whoa. I had a story rolling around in my noggin and then some little dendrite kicked me in the frontal lobe saying, "You have a blog, dummy. Use it." Okay, dendrite, relax. You win.

Visions of Sugar Bunnies, Baby Chicks and Lamb(chops) Danced...

In my role as Mama Monster I see all levels of greasy, grime and goo. But one has no idea of how much of that you blindly live with until you are about to host your first family holiday event. And that just kind of happened. We decided we were taking our zoo of a family to the next level by introducing baby chicks to our current brood. We've been hatching plans for a while. We checked out a lot of books. We bought some books. We took notes. We built a coop and a chicken run in production. And we have a baby chick brooding box in post-production. With chicks bouncing around, we thought it best to celebrate Easter in Duluth this year. We've long been transplants in the most beautiful city in our state. (Oh yeah. I said it. I mean it, too!) That means as calendar pages turn, holidays see us packing our bags and making the rounds. Not content with this idea, the Piersons decided to come to us! What a treat! Grandma and Grandpa, Auntie Suz, Uncle Phil and Baby Jack are some of our little monsters' most favoritist people on the planet. I cannot fault them for this assessment. They are pretty grand.

Now, at 35 years of age, I finally know the second looks a hostess gives the baseboards, cupboard fronts, fridge shelves, finger smudges(nose smudges, licking marks? Ew.) on every window (every single one!), grimy door jams, ceiling fan blades, that gross spot behind the base of the toilet...need I go on? There was more. So, spring cleaning was a little more in earnest this year. Cool air returns were thoroughly dusted, not that my in-laws would likely notice. And living in a house with three kids and a shedding dog meant two steps forward, eight back. Seriously. But. As it always does, it worked out just fine. Chad and I meal planned. We hoped to find some yummy lamb for Easter dinner but settled on prime rib. It was prime indeed! We spent fun hours together--crafting, cooking, working on the chicken coop, dyeing eggs, swimming in the hotel pool, eating, more swimming and more eating.

And I'd like to touch on some of the wins and fails of my holiday weekend.

Wins Column:

**Mauren and Zoe spent a night of slumber partying with Grandma and Grandpa at the hotel. They did this Saturday night and the Easter Bunny even knew they were there and hid some eggs in the hotel room for them! And it was brilliant to have them arrive home to scurry around finding their Easter Baskets and eggs.

**Zoe would spend every waking minute 'making crafts' if I let her. We wouldn't have room to live with all of her creations if I do, so I limit it to once or twice or thrice per day. But she spent an hour or longer working on an Easter tree with Grandma Reenie that became our centerpiece. It was lovely.

**I changed multiple infant boy diapers without getting peed on. Success. And snuggles with a beautiful, smiling, cooing, thumb-twiddling baby boy? Priceless.

**Chad was chef extraordinaire serving up a fish fry with 'caught the previous day crappies' courtesy of Grandpa Mike, Brined turkey breast smoked on the Weber (Yum. My fave!), Pasta Carbonara with pancetta from Northern Waters Smokhaus (Unreal. Really.), and a smoked Prime Rib Roast for Easter. Mary's little lamb was unharmed (this year) for our Easter meal. With most meals Chad served up some of his favorite beers, some of which were his own. Give a geeky boy a chemistry project that involves finding specific gravity, high temperatures and the end result is beer? Chad loves his new hobby!

**Auntie Suzy helped the Easter bunny out with some tips that some big girls needed ballet slippers in their Easter baskets. Legwarmers, too. The ballerinas have been very busy ever since.

**Charlotte is speaking in near full sentences. She is working on pronouns and mixes her prepositions, but she is getting it. Some of her fave sentences this weekend included:
--I hold her? I hold Baby Yak. (J sounds are awfully difficult and in her defence, she is around a large number of girls in her daily life.)
--Mama? More candy? Please? More beans? Jelly beans? Please? Me eating? (These requests were made with signs for 'more', 'please' and 'eat' just to make sure we understood. Valiant effort was made. Some caving resulted. Her six teeth, well-brushed.)

**Grandpa Mike didn't know what to do with a day of the girls crafting while Chad had to work. I guess hot glue guns don't appeal to him, much. He took his dog for a walk. After he drove to Two Harbors and checked out the fishing in the McQuade Harbor, walked the lake, and saw the first 'Saltie' of the year closing in on our fair port city. And he brought back smoked fish from Lou's. A win! All around!

**Phil and Suzy are parents now. Good ones. A little tired, but glamourously tired all the same. And being new parents hasn't put a dent in their awesome Aunt/Uncle personas. Each of the girls loved every moment, every snuggle. Having our siblings love our kids so powerfully? It's fundamentally ________ (<--- I just don't have the right adjective to put there, but my feelings are powerful on the subject!).

There were SO MANY wins this weekend. Do I need to twist the dagger in my heart as to the fails? Well. Sure. Fails at the time are heartbreaking. When I next read this, they will likely make me laugh (some already do!)

Fails Column:

**After washing all the windows on Thursday morning, I take another look at the windows upstairs Thursday afternoon. They are streaky. They are covered in finger prints. Mauren and Zoe say, "Mom, we thought we'd get the windows extra clean so we used a washcloth and the foaming bathroom soap and cleaned them all again for you." I have to appreciate the gesture, right?

**After months of planning, building, buying stuff, finding out when chicks start being available at the farm supply store in Cloquet, reading, watching YouTube videos on chick care with the girls, one would ALMOST think that Chad and I would have been smart enough to pre-order baby chicks to be ready the Saturday before Easter. Almost. I did think of it. Five miles north of Cloquet. After all ten of us were loaded up in two vehicles to make the grand purchase of our lil' baby chicks. The ladies. We entered the farm room, saw all the galvanized steel troughs, see the warming lights beckoning us with their rosy glow. Oh no. No peeping. Worse. No chicks. Crying ensues. Orders are made. Fingers are crossed there will be more ladies in the house on Thursday. EPIC, STUPID, IRRESPONSIBLE, REVOLTING, IDIOTIC FAAAAIIILLLL! AAaaCCkk!

**Not a true fail, but a funny one. On Friday, the girls and I went swimming at the hotel with Grandma Reenie. Washing the pool residue from their little bodies in the hotel room afterwards, a large tub with a view of the television equipped with something magical called Nickolodean, Mauren tells me, "This kind of tv with commercials?" Yeah?, I respond. "I like these commercials. They give me ideas for things to want." Advertisers out there? She is on to you...but, I guess what you do? It works! Fur Reals. No. Really. She wants something called a FurrReal. A bunny that hops around.

**Last night as we were getting ready for bed, Zoe reveals the underbelly side of a slumber party with Grandma and Grandpa. Sorry elders, this is an outing. It is noisy...Grandma snores a little, but Grandpa SNORES SO LOUDLY!!!

**It wasn't all moonbeams and lullabies for the Grandparents either, this slumber party thing. Turns out, Zoe is an octopus. Grandma saw them both sitting bolt upright at one point in the night. The girls? No recollection of such event.

**That very night, Charlotte woke up with a night terror. Screaming in her high-pitched angry voice, "No! Zoe, NOOOOOO!" She got over it, though.

**Charlotte, at a loss as to where her sisters may be on Easter morning, requested Ra-Ra Noodle Soup (Ra Ra noodle poop, as she calls it) for breakfast. Ramen for breakfast? Well. Auntie Bek may approve. And. It's a holiday. Okay.

**And the last FAIL of the weekend? Didn't happen on the weekend. It happened today. I went in to the YMCA to burn some of the very, very numerous Easter calories I ingested over the weekend. I dropped off the girls in the Kids Club (that part is a win!), worked out, felt good, reveled in the endless supply of hot water shower afterwards and picked up the girls. Mauren and Zoe were bursting with angst. Indignation. Scorn. Disbelief. Anger. Injustice. Words spilled from their mouths before crossing the gated threshold between the 'kids' area and the 'parents' area. A boy told them that the Easter Bunny wasn't real. That the magical bunny who loves them and brings them candy and Zhu Zhu pets, kites, bubbles and ballet slippers is 'make believe'. Eyes are teary. Kids Club attendants quickly butt in and say, "That boy was lying. He was being mean. And it isn't true. And we talked to him." And I said, not everyone believes the same things. We get to choose what we believe in. Who we believe in. And I believe in you. And you know what? Boys who don't believe in the Easter Bunny? Well. The Easter Bunny has no time for kids like that. Those kids don't get a visit from the Easter Bunny. Isn't that sad? Isn't that terrible? They agreed. And listed the things they believe in. You know. Fairies. Mermaids. Santa. The Easter Bunny. Not aliens. They're extinct, mom.

And that's it. It, you say? This is a dissertation. A thome. But, at the end of things? The wins, the losses? It's a wash. Just the way I like. It's okay to win some. And lose some.

The Easter Tree Zoe, Maurnie & Grandma made with paper flowers and sticks!

A close-up of the spiral flowers.

We're brooding. Becuase our brooding box is empty. Hopefully not for long!

The boys, working on drilling holes for fence posts for the chicken run.


Grandparents and Grandkids!


  1. Happy belated Easter. Love your story telling. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Your story made me smile the whole time I read it. I can relate on SO many levels! My house is ALWAYS spotless until someone comes over.....then it's horrid. I don't understand how it gets messy so fast! : )
    What a fun Easter weekend! Your Easter tree is beautiful! Good luck with the chicks, they are so much fun. They is something so rewarding going out in your backyard and gathering eggs.